Genesis 2:24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

We went to see my mother-in-law over the weekend. We go over there about once a month these days. As we were driving home on Monday afternoon, Cheryl had her book of word puzzles, like she usually does when we travel. A song came on the radio and she started singing along, something else that is not at all unusual. She didn’t notice that I was watching her. She was solving her puzzle and singing and smiling. And I was reminded again of what a blessing she has been to me in my life.

We met in our freshman year at Concordia Lutheran College in Austin, a junior college at that time. We were both dating other people, but were part of a group of about a dozen folks that would wind up going out dancing most weekends. Sometimes it was to a disco (ugh!), but more often it was to a country and western place so we could two-step.

We went to different colleges for our junior year, but in October we both attended a football game at a school some of our friends were attending. Something sparked. She came to my home after Thanksgiving. I went to her home after Christmas, at which time I convinced her to transfer to the school I was attending. In February I proposed, and we were married in August.

When I’ve shared that story, sometimes people will say something like, “Oh, you both met the right person.” I don’t think it is that simple. You don’t just meet the right person and live happily ever after. After you meet the “right person” you have to work at BEING the “right person” in your relationship. That is something both of us have done in our more than 45 years together.

It takes some work. It doesn’t just happen. The one flesh union God had in mind involves both husband and wife being the right person for the other person. That is what Paul was describing in Ephesians 5.

Ephesians 5:21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

While we were in Germany, we went to Salzburg for a few days and took a tour bus to Hallstatt. The tour guide was trying to kill some time on the bus and went through asking couples how long they had been married. Cheryl and I were seated at the back of the bus, so he came to us last and asked how long we had been married.  I replied “45 years,” which was much longer than anyone else on board. He followed up with “What’s the secret to a long marriage?” and I responded, “Keep Jesus in the middle of your relationship.” He didn’t know what to say after that and just walked away.

When you share a faith in Jesus as your Savior, you know what it means to be forgiven even whey you don’t deserve it. You know that is true because Jesus paid your penalty and earned that forgiveness for you. And that should influence the way you treat others, especially your spouse. You will strive to show him/her the same love that God has shown to you. You will work at being the “right person.”